New Traditions, Lasting Memories: A Family Guide to Dementia-Friendly Holidays.

Guest Author: Christine O'Connor

The holidays were my mother’s favorite time of year. She’d hum carols while we baked and decorated hundreds of cookies to give to friends and neighbors and reminisce about her favorite holiday memories. But after her Alzheimer’s diagnosis, everything changed.

I remember one Christmas Eve when she quietly left our family gathering, overwhelmed by the noise and unfamiliar faces—even though they were all family. I found her sitting by a window, gazing at the winter landscape. When I sat at the piano and started playing her favorite carol, she smiled and started to sing. In that small, quiet moment, I realized that the holidays could still hold meaning and joy for both of us—they just needed to look a little different.

Navigating the season with a loved one living with dementia can feel daunting, but it’s also an opportunity to create new traditions, foster connection and find beauty in simple moments. Small acts of inclusion—like sharing familiar songs or inviting participation in holiday routines—help reduce feelings of isolation and confusion. These benefits extend to caregivers and families, too: when everyone feels involved, it eases stress and makes the holidays brighter for all.

Common holiday challenges for people living with dementia

For many people, the holidays represent a time to create special moments and continue long-held traditions with loved ones. But for those with dementia and their caregivers, it can be a time of higher anxiety.

Those with dementia might be overwhelmed by being in a new environment or around people they don’t recognize. Caregivers have the additional stress of maintaining the holiday preparations while still caring for their loved one. And for those who are not typically around a person with dementia, it can be hard to understand why someone is acting differently than before.

The good news is the holidays can also be a time to reconnect with loved ones, make new memories and find joy. In this post, we explore ways to create a more enjoyable, inclusive holiday season for families dealing with dementia.

10 strategies for inclusive holiday celebrations

Celebrating with family members struggling with cognitive decline can look different from one family to the next, ranging from a full holiday meal or gathering to a short, managed visit to a memory care facility. Consider these tips when planning holiday get-togethers with your loved one to ensure a truly inclusive experience.

1. Prepare your family and friends

If you’re hosting a holiday gathering, one of the first steps is to communicate early with other family members and friends. Send an email or have a group call to explain the situation and what to expect, especially if it's been a while since people have seen your loved one.

• Explain cognitive and behavioral changes: Let guests know the person may not remember names or relationships but can still enjoy company and socializing.

• Set realistic expectations: Explain that old traditions might need changing and that simplifying is okay (e.g., a potluck instead of a big meal).

• Use age-appropriate language: Seeing changes in a loved one can be tough on anyone, especially children. For younger family members, explain that Grandpa’s brain works differently now, so he forgets things, but he’s still the same person.

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Share helpful tips, such as speaking calmly, avoiding corrections and being patient during interactions. Refer guests to resources on communicating with somebody living with dementia. This understanding can foster a supportive environment and create a more enjoyable experience for everyone.

2. Stick to familiar routines

For anyone with dementia, changes in routine can be overwhelming. To provide a sense of stability and reduce stress, stick to familiar daily schedules. Incorporating small, predictable holiday activities into their routine—such as listening to their favorite seasonal songs or enjoying familiar holiday foods—can help evoke positive memories and foster a sense of comfort.

3. Simplify holiday activities

While holiday traditions are meaningful, complex activities can be overwhelming for people with dementia. Simplify traditions by focusing on manageable tasks. For example:

• Instead of attending large gatherings, plan small, quiet family gatherings.

• Choose simple decorations that don’t involve excessive lighting or noise.

• Engage seniors in safe and easy activities, like hanging ornaments or looking through old photo albums.

4. Create a calm and safe environment

The hustle and bustle of the holidays can be overstimulating for people with dementia. To ensure their comfort, create a calm environment by:

• Limiting excessive noise, such as loud music or overlapping conversations

• Reducing clutter to minimize confusion and fall risks

• Ensuring decorations are secured and any flammable items such as candles are out of reach

• Setting up a quiet space where they can rest if needed

  
  

If you’re going to someone else’s home, they may not have considered safety and accessibility measures. It’s a good idea to explain your loved one’s needs well beforehand to ensure they won’t become overwhelmed or agitated.

5. Adapt holiday meals

Food plays a big role in holiday celebrations, and your family probably prepares special dishes that reflect your traditions and culture. However, it’s essential to consider dietary needs and cognitive abilities when planning meals for people with dementia. Prepare familiar dishes they enjoy but be mindful of textures and portion sizes. Finger foods can be a practical choice for those who have difficulty using utensils.

6. Encourage meaningful participation

Including your loved one in holiday preparations and activities can provide them with a sense of purpose. Encourage participation in tasks they can comfortably manage, such as:

• Wrapping presents

• Hanging ornaments

• Setting the table

• Making or sealing holiday cards

• Arranging centerpieces

• Singing holiday carols

• Decorating cookies

  
  

Research suggests that familiar routines and sensory-rich experiences can stimulate memory pathways, even in the later stages of dementia. These simple holiday traditions can play a role in supporting cognitive health by tapping into established memories and allowing your family member to feel connected.

7. Promote a sense of identity

As Alzheimer’s disease and other types of dementia progress, it can become increasingly difficult for a person to recognize themselves or recall their personal history. This loss of identity is often one of the most difficult aspects of cognitive decline. Holiday traditions provide a way for seniors with Alzheimer’s to reconnect with their past, reinforcing their sense of self.

Bring out photo albums, old letters or family videos to help your loved one recall positive moments from the past. Ask guests to bring pictures and mementos to serve as conversation starters and to help trigger memories of past celebrations. Even if people experiencing cognitive decline cannot recall specific details or events, this experience helps them maintain emotional connections to their past.

8. Stay flexible

Flexibility is crucial when celebrating the holidays with a person who has dementia. Be prepared to adjust plans based on their mood, energy levels or needs. For example, if a planned outing becomes overwhelming, consider staying home and enjoying a quiet activity instead.

Also keep in mind that people living with dementia can become confused or agitated in the evenings (referred to as sundowning). If this behavior describes your family member, consider celebrating earlier in the day to avoid it.

9. Incorporate rest periods

Seniors with dementia may tire easily, especially during busy holiday activities. They also may have a lower threshold for noise, excitement and confusion. Try to incorporate regular rest periods to prevent fatigue and overstimulation—and ensure that your loved one has a quiet, comfortable space to retreat to when things get overwhelming.

10. Bring the celebration to your loved one

If your family member is unable to join you for the holidays, arrange to bring the celebration to their home or care facility. This can help reduce stress for everyone by enabling the person with dementia to stay in a familiar environment. Many facilities will be happy to let you bring your own food and decorations, and the presence of visitors can make the day more stimulating and festive for residents and staff.

When distance prevents you from celebrating with your family member in person, take advantage of video calling software like Zoom or Skype to gather virtually. The Alzheimer’s Association suggests trying these group activities via video to get everyone in the holiday spirit:

• Play a trivia game, sing seasonal songs or share pictures from past holiday gatherings.

• Use video to capture and digitally send special moments, such as children opening gifts.

• Plan a video call to cook or bake a special recipe together.

• Record and send a video “card” that includes personalized messages from everyone in the family.

• Choose a favorite holiday movie and schedule a time to watch it together from separate homes, chatting by text or phone as you watch.

If your loved one lives in a long-term care community and struggles with technology, ask a primary caregiver if they can help set up a video call.

Holiday gift ideas for people with dementia and their caregivers

Holiday shopping can be especially challenging when there’s a person with dementia on your gift list. Depending on the stage of the disease, the ideal gift can bring happiness by stimulating the senses or supporting cognitive abilities.

Gifts for people with cognitive impairment

Choose gifts that match your loved one’s likes and interests; for example, if they liked gardening, books, puzzles or calendars with that theme make thoughtful presents. Practical gifts that make everyday life easier are also appreciated and can include:

• Magnetic note pads and erasable white boards

• Automatic medication dispenser with alarms/reminders

• Favorite musical CDs or a collection of favorite movies

• Sensory stimulation pads, blankets and pillows

• Weighted or heated blankets

• Simple craft kits like ornaments or knotted blankets

• Easy-to-wear clothing such as zip-up sweaters, knits, large-banded socks or Velcro shoes

• Framed photographs, a photo collage or album created specifically for the person, with the names of people in the photos written in easy-to-read text

For more suggestions, check out our blog with holiday gift ideas tailored to different stages of cognitive impairment.

Thoughtful gifts for caregivers

Don’t overlook your caregiver during the holidays. These are just a few ways you can show the caregiver in your life that you’re thinking of them:

• Gift certificates: to the salon, spa, restaurant, massage, food delivery or ride share service, or a theater

• The gift of time: Make a gift certificate that says, "I'll come and stay with your loved one while you run errands, go out to lunch or pamper yourself."

• Pet care: Volunteer to take a caregiver’s dog for a walk or transport their animal to the groomer or vet.

• Home maintenance: Offer to take care of their yard or keep their steps and sidewalks free of snow.

• A break from caregiving: Gift a day or week of respite care or an adult day program.

• Subscription boxes: Send a recurring gift of coffee, books, snacks or hobby-related items.

• Housekeeping service voucher: Provide relief from daily chores by offering to clean the house, cook or do laundry (or hire a service to do it).

Adaptability: The key to dementia-friendly holiday celebrations

When it comes to planning holiday celebrations that include a loved one with dementia, the key word is adaptability. Dementia is a progressive disease, so what was appropriate for your family member last year may not be this year. This means you may need to modify what your celebration looks like from year to year.

Here’s an example from my own caregiving experience. The first year after my mother’s diagnosis, she was still able to write short notes and sign her holiday cards, so we did it together much like we always had. The second year, Mom couldn't sign her name anymore, so I bought holiday stamps and decorative stickers she could put on the cards after I wrote them out.

The next year, Mom had progressed to the sensory stage of her illness and couldn’t help but I still wanted her to be a part of the tradition. I put on her favorite Christmas music, and she watched as I wrote notes to friends and family. Modifying the activity as her abilities changed meant we could still spend time together doing something we enjoyed.

Where to find help and inspiration

Navigating the holidays with a loved one living with dementia can feel overwhelming, but you’re not alone. There are resources and communities ready to support you:

• Alzheimer’s Association: Offers information, communication tips, support groups, and a 24/7 Helpline for caregivers and families.

• Local support groups: Hospitals, community centers, churches, and local government programs often provide caregiver support.

• Care facility staff: Reach out for advice on making celebrations meaningful and safe. They can suggest activities or help facilitate virtual visits.

• Online communities: Forums and social media groups for dementia caregivers offer comfort, tips, and inspiration.

• Specialized tools: Download the Simon app to help coordinate care, set reminders, and share alerts with family and friends—making it easier to stay organized and connected during the busy holiday season.

Whether you’re looking for practical advice or simply a listening ear, these

resources can help you find inspiration and support throughout the holiday season.

How do you include your loved one with dementia in your holiday celebrations? Share your story with us!