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Finding the Flow: A Joy Quest Through the Fog of Dementia

An Interview with Diane Chew, a certified life coach, social media inspiration, dementia caregiver and creator of The JoyQuest



Welcome to this special edition of the Simon Cares newsletter!


Mare sat down with Diane Chew, a former research scientist and pharma professional turned dementia caregiver and coach, whose journey with her husband Ben’s Lewy Body Dementia has inspired a global community of over 170,000 caregivers. Diane shares how she navigated one of life’s most challenging transitions by blending science, intuition, and deep personal surrender—offering practical tools and emotional guidance for caregivers seeking resilience, connection, and moments of joy along the way.


Introduction


For Diane Chew, the transition from a high-stakes career in big pharma to a full-time dementia caregiver wasn't a choice—it was an immersion. When her

husband Ben’s Lewy Body Dementia began to manifest with terrifying symptoms such as the "imposter syndrome," Diane found herself navigating a world that feltmore surreal than scientific. It was a journey that pushed her to the edge of herfinances, her safety, and her spirit, ultimately leading her to a profound "surrender"that would change not only her life but the lives of over 170,000 caregiversworldwide.


I sat down with Diane to discuss how she traded the laboratory for the "JoyQuest," and how she found peace by listening to her intuition and a voice that promised something more expansive.


The Unthinkable Pivot


Mare: Diane, it’s so good to see you. How are you doing? I know that’s a loaded question.


Diane: It really depends on how long you have! I’m fine, but I always want toanswer authentically - not with the sugarcoated version. I feel I owe that to othercaregivers. The world needs to know what a surreal experience it is to be adementia caregiver because every day brings such a mixture of challenges andjoy. That’s one of the reasons why I have such a passion for supporting othercaregivers by sharing what’s helped me on my own journey.


Mare: I love that. Can you tell us a bit about who you are and how you became a dementia coach?


Diane: Ben and I have been together since I was 18. We met at Penn State—it’s been an incredible love story. I was a research scientist first, then worked in bigpharma, then moved into life and business coaching. But nothing prepares you forthis. Ben started showing signs of cognitive decline around 2018, but it "blew up"in 2021. Early on, he didn't recognize me. It’s called "Capgras Syndrome"—hethought I was an imposter and wanted me out of the house. It was terrifying forboth of us.



Redefining Treatment: Plant Medicine & The "Healer" Protocol


Mare: You have a background in pharma, yet you ended up leaning heavily on your intuition regarding alternative treatments. How did that shift happen?


Diane: It was a battle. Ben had a terrible reaction to a prescribed anti-psychotic—he didn't sleep for a week, couldn’t sit still and finally collapsed and landed in thehospital. My intuition was telling me it wasn't right, and thankfully I had actuallytaken it upon myself to cut the dose in half a month earlier because those drugscarry black-box warnings. I started looking for other ways to keep him comfortable, which led me to plant medicine.


Mare: I know you often mention "Healer" products. How did those specific CBD and CBG supplements impact Ben’s daily life?


Diane: They were a complete game-changer. I started Ben on the Healer RespiteGummies, which are physician-developed and specifically designed to target theagitation and "sundowning" that make dementia so hard to manage at home.Unlike the heavy pharmaceuticals that just sedated him, these gummies calmedhis nervous system while leaving his personality intact. He went from being aggressive and unable to recognize me to sleeping 8 hours a night and evenpicking up his guitar again. It’s not a cure, but it gave us a life again. And Healer provides access to nurses from Leaf411.org who are trained in the use of hemp based products. They guided us on how to get started and adjust the dose asneeded which made me feel safe stepping away from the traditional pharma route.


The "Expansive Thought" and Universal Guidance


Mare: How did you go from a private caregiver to a social media sensation with 170,000 followers?


Diane: I was walking, asking God, "What am I going to do? I can't keep going like this financially." I heard a voice ask: "Is that a constrictive thought or an expansiveone?" I asked, “What would be more expansive?” The word "Internet" popped in,but I fought it! I used to call Facebook, "Wastebook." Eight months later Isurrendered and started to share our journey online. I was shocked when ouronline community grew so quickly but it shows how great the need is forcaregivers to stay connected.


Mare: You talk a lot about "God" in your process. How do you define that for yourcommunity?


Diane: I believe in something bigger than my own thoughts and feelings. I call itGod, but I tell people: God is whoever you want it to be. Call it your higher wisdom. Call it your intuition. Call it Source or the Universe. Whatever name yougive it, it's that presence that helps you stay in the moment when your brain wantsto jump into a scary future. It’s a matter of being willing to be guided by a lovingforce that “knows” more than you do.


The Joy Quest Principles


Mare: You’ve created the Joy Quest Recovery Guide. What are the pillars of finding peace in the chaos?


• Don’t do it alone: I had to admit that I couldn’t care for Ben by myself and to trust that the finances would work out to keep help in place.


• Focus on the present moment: Ask, "Are we safe right now?" If the answer is yes, take a breath and trust you’ll be guided to the next best step.


• Allow all emotions: We’re taught to suppress “big” emotions like anger, grief and fear. But that’s more stressful than expressing them in a healthy way. For instance, I don't get angry with Ben, but I get angry at the disease. I’ll go intothe basement and kick cardboard boxes. I’ll have a good cry when I can. Iwrite out all my fears and ceremoniously burn them in the fire pit. It’snecessary.


• Recover Daily: I have to reset my nervous system throughout the day with short self care practices like deep breathing, gentle stretching or grounding my self by hugging a tree. Nobody else can do it for me.


Lessons Learned: What Dementia Taught Diane


Mare: Looking back on the fire you've walked through, what would you say is thebiggest lesson dementia has taught you?


Diane: It has taught me that we are far more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, and that our hearts don’t break—they expand to hold joy and grief in equal measure. And joy isn’t something that happens when everything is okay—it’s something you learn to notice, and even seek, in the middle of the mess.


Dementia may have stripped away our plans for the future, but it anchored me in the present. It invited me to stop trying to fix everything and instead soften into what remains—because even when the mind fades, the spirit is still very much there, waiting for us to meet it with peace.


But more than anything, dementia has forced me to surrender every expectation I had—of myself, of Ben, and of what our life was supposed to look like. And when you surrender every expectation, what remains is unconditional love—and that changes everything.



About Diane:


I’m a certified life coach and full-time caregiver for my husband, Ben, who is living at home with Lewy Body Dementia. I share our journey together on social media: @dementiacoachdiane to help other caregivers as they navigate through the daily challenges of taking care of a loved one at home. You can find me on Instagram, FB, YouTube and TikTok offering tips on dementia care and self care. As a coach, I know how important it is to address caregiver needs on all levels: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual, and I offer my personal solutions as I walk a similar path every day, caring for my beloved husband.


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