Distance Doesn’t Mean Disconnected: Strategies for Supporting Loved Ones with Dementia Remotely

By Christine O'Connor

Caring for a loved one with dementia is never easy, but when you add distance and life’s unpredictability into the mix, the challenges can feel overwhelming. If this describes your situation, you’re far from alone.

According to a 2020 report from AARP, more than 1 in 10 family caregivers are considered long-distance caregivers, living an hour or more from the person they support.

As a remote caregiver, you face the same worries as if you live nearby, plus a few more. From the emotional strain of being separated from your family member to logistical hurdles such as managing care across time zones and healthcare systems, remote caregiving brings a distinct set of challenges. Understanding these difficulties is the first step toward finding solutions that work for you and your loved one.

Considering Long-Distance Care Receivers

A lot of attention is given to caregivers of people living with dementia. And we certainly need it. But we aren’t the only ones who struggle with caring remotely. For our loved ones, for people living with dementia, remote care can present even more challenges.

People with dementia will face the same emotional strain of separation, the same logistical hurdles of navigating timezones and systems, with the potential for more serious consequences. Research shows how important staying social and connected is for people with dementia. Loneliness and isolation can compound confusion about where a family member is, or where they should be. Managing nutrition and hygiene can get more difficult for people with dementia over time, and using technology to stay on top of their daily life may add more unneeded complexity.

But it isn’t all doom and gloom. Many people with dementia revel in the independence. Not everyone wants their child or their sibling next to them, monitoring their every move. This too can lead to a loss of confidence, which can exacerbate symptoms. There are people with dementia with very vibrant social and dating lives which may make those family members blush.

As a former caregiver, I wrote this blog from my perspective. But it is important that we consider the other perspective too. And I hope people with dementia can read this and equally find value in how to best live with remote care.

Unique challenges of remote caregiving

According to the National Institutes of Health, anyone living an hour or more away from a person who needs care is considered a long-distance caregiver. That’s a good portion of the U.S. population facing a distinct set of hurdles that go beyond the usual difficulties of caring for a loved one with dementia.

Emotional and social Isolation

One of the most profound struggles of remote caregiving is the emotional toll of distance. You may find yourself wrestling with feelings of guilt, helplessness, and anxiety because you aren’t there every day. This distance can breed loneliness for you as the caregiver and for your loved one, who may miss your regular physical presence. Furthermore, the immense stress and communication hurdles inherent in managing care from afar can often lead to strain on family relationships. It is common for the remote caregiver to feel misunderstood or for local family members to feel overwhelmed.

Unpredictability of dementia

Dementia is inherently unpredictable, and managing behavioral changes and medical needs from afar adds a layer of difficulty. It is challenging to effectively monitor daily life—from simple routines to critical safety risks like wandering, medication errors, or falls—without being physically present. You are often relying on second-hand information, which can cause significant stress when your loved one's well-being is on the line.

Coordination and communication barriers

The logistics of caregiving become incredibly complex when managed across state lines or even just a long drive. Challenges in organizing care teams, medical appointments, and daily support can feel like a full-time job. You are often forced to navigate time zones, schedules, and technology gaps to keep everyone—doctors, hired help, family members—on the same page. This communication chain is a common point of failure that can lead to delays or errors in care.

Financial and legal complexities

Remote caregiving often presents a significant financial burden. Beyond the emotional cost, you are faced with managing finances, legal documents, and long-term care planning remotely. A critical and often overlooked area is ensuring up-to-date power of attorney, healthcare directives, and insurance is in place and accessible to the local care team. Studies have shown that caregivers can spend nearly twice as much on caregiving as people caring for a loved one close to home because they're more likely to need to hire help, take uncompensated time off work, and pay for travel.

Caregiver burnout and self-care

The combination of emotional isolation and immense logistical work puts remote caregivers at an increased risk of stress, depression, and burnout due to distance and lack of respite. When you can’t easily tag in a local family member or take a weekend to rest, the pressures accumulate. Prioritizing your own well-being often falls to the bottom of the list, which can ultimately compromise your ability to provide care.

Practical solutions for remote caregiving

If you’re navigating the complexities of long-distance caregiving, know that you are not helpless. I learned while caring for my own mother from 400 miles away that the key is being proactive and building a strong system. These tips and strategies can help you care for your loved one while prioritizing your own well-being—because you can't pour from an empty cup.

Build a local support network

When you can't be there every day, your local team becomes your eyes and ears. This network should include more than just immediate family; reach out to trusted neighbors, friends, and professional caregivers. They can provide everything from a simple daily check-in to essential medical support. Establish clear roles and a plan for regular check-ins and updates so you always have reliable, current information. This isn't just a convenience; it’s a vital layer of security and emotional connection for your loved one.

Close the distance with technology

Technology is the bridge that spans the miles. Don't underestimate the power of regular video calls to see your loved one's face and assess their environment firsthand. Beyond simple communication, leverage remote monitoring devices to track their safety and well-being, and use medication management apps to ensure they are taking their prescriptions correctly. Tools like Simon Care, telehealth platforms, and shared calendars can transform a fragmented system into a cohesive, coordinated care plan, giving you peace of mind.

Communicate and visit regularly

Consistency is crucial. Schedule consistent calls and virtual visits so your loved one knows exactly when to expect your voice and presence. More than just logistics, this maintains the emotional bond that is so important in dementia care. Furthermore, plan in-person visits strategically. These visits aren't just for strengthening your relationship; they are a necessary time to assess needs that may have changed, meet with the local care team, and ensure your loved one's environment is safe and comfortable.

Organize and coordinate care

The remote caregiver’s superpower is organization. You need to be the central hub for all information. Keep detailed records of medical, financial, and legal information—every doctor’s note, insurance detail, and medication change. This information is useless if it’s only on your laptop. Use shared documents and care plans accessible to all stakeholders (local family, doctors, professional caregivers) so everyone is working from the same script, preventing dangerous gaps in care.

Practice self-care and seek support

Caring for someone at a distance can lead to an intense, isolating form of burnout. You must treat your well-being as a part of the care plan. Join online or local support groups where you can share your struggles and triumphs with others who truly understand. Schedule time for your own self-care routines—even if it’s a 15-minute walk—and seek professional counseling if the stress becomes too much. Remember, prioritizing yourself is not selfish; it’s sustainable caregiving.

Plan for emergencies

Because you are not there, you must prepare for emergencies with clear protocols and contact lists that are posted prominently in your loved one's home and accessible to your local team. What is the plan if they fall? Who does the neighbor call? Ensure backup caregivers and resources are in place for every scenario, especially if you are unable to travel immediately. A pre-written emergency plan provides clarity in moments of chaos.

Resources and further reading

Whether you’re seeking practical advice, emotional support or tools to help manage remote caregiving, the following resources offer guidance and actionable solutions for navigating dementia from a distance.

AARP offers extensive resources for dementia caregivers, including a dementia resource guide, an online community/Facebook group for caregivers, state-specific resource finders, tips for self-care, and even information on adapting homes and managing finances, all accessible via their central caregiving website. They provide tools for creating care plans, managing stress, connecting with others and accessing local support services.

The Eldercare Locator is a free public service from the U.S. Administration on Aging that helps older adults and their families find local services and support, like in-home care, housing assistance and more, connecting them to Area Agencies on Aging and other community resources for senior care. You can use it to find programs for financial help, support groups and services to help seniors live independently at home, though the referral service itself is free, not necessarily the care provided.

In conclusion

Confident remote caregiving with Simon

Remote caregiving is a marathon, not a sprint. The immense difficulties you face only underscore your dedication and love. Reiterate the importance of proactive planning and communication—these are the foundations of long-distance support.

Readers are always welcome to respond with questions, comments, feedback, or stories to share. At Simon, we are always open to learning alongside our community.

Whether you’re just beginning this journey or already deep in it, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Download the Simon App or Join our community of Simon App Testers.